Summer is here, and if you’re the parent of a 2028 athlete, you may be feeling a mix of emotions. Excitement, hope, nervousness, anxiety — maybe all of it at once.
Your daughter is standing at the edge of a major life decision: choosing a college. In some ways, that decision feels incredibly close. In other ways, it still feels far away. The good news is that a lot will become clearer over the next few months. What may feel vague or overwhelming right now will begin to take shape through conversations, evaluations, campus visits, coach feedback, and your daughter’s own growing sense of what she wants.
A few things to keep in mind:
the goal is the right fit
A school with a stronger lacrosse reputation, higher ranking, or better RPI may not be the best place for your child. The last thing any parent wants is for their son or daughter to end up somewhere that looks great from the outside but does not feel right once they are there.
Fit includes lacrosse, of course. But it also includes academics, location, coaching style, team culture, campus life, financial reality, and whether your child can truly see herself being happy there.
Action item: Before the summer gets too emotional, take a few minutes to write down what you really want for your child. Not just athletically, but as a whole person. Keep that list somewhere you can come back to when the process feels stressful.
recruiting is a two-way street
It’s easy to spend the summer fixated on who’s watching your athlete’s games, or who's showing interest.
That is definitely part of the process, but it’s not the whole picture.
Use this time to gather information for your family.
What kind of schools are expressing interest? How is my athlete stacking up against the competition - their speed, quickness, stick skills, IQ, their knowledge of what to do without the ball?
When they are at showcases, they should seek to identify what style of coaching they prefer and which coaches they enjoy working with. If there are college players at the events, they should ask questions about culture, coaching style, life at school outside of lacrosse, academic life, etc.
Action item: A day or two after the event, have a calm conversation about what they liked, who they enjoyed being coached by, what they learned, what they want to keep working on.
coaches are evaluating way more than goals and stats
They notice energy. Passion. Body language. Communication. Competitiveness. Effort. How players celebrate teammates. How they respond to mistakes. What they do without the ball. Whether they ride hard. Whether they hustle back on defense. Whether they stay engaged when the ball is not coming their way.
That is why parents do not need to track every stat from the sideline. In fact, I would encourage you not to.
Action item: Sit back and enjoy watching your child play. That may sound simple, but it matters. If your child needs to take more initiative on the field or if there is something technical or tactical she needs to hear, her coach will likely tell her.
expect highs and lows
There will absolutely be highs and lows this summer.
A great club game. Then a showcase where your daughter feels like she barely touched the ball. A coach who seems interested. Then a stretch of silence. A weekend where everything clicks. Then a game where nothing seems to go right.
That is recruiting. It is rarely a straight line.
One of my favorite coaches would tell her team in big games: Don’t get too high, don’t get too low. Stay the course and control the things you can control.
This is great advice for recruiting too.
Parents set the emotional temperature. If we spiral after every low moment, our kids usually feel that. If we stay steady, they are more likely to stay steady too.
Action item: When things feel disappointing, name it without dramatizing it. You might say, “That was a tough day. We’re in a little valley right now, but it will pass.” Then come back to the controllables: effort, attitude, communication, development, and continuing to learn.
protect your relationship
Above all, remember that your child is feeling all of this too.
She may not always show it, but she is likely carrying excitement, pressure, comparison, hope, disappointment, and uncertainty. Do your best not to add more weight to what she is already carrying.
Listen. Encourage. Reassure. Be honest but be calm. Help her keep perspective.
It really does work out. Maybe not always in the exact way a family imagined at the beginning, but usually in a way that makes sense over time.
The summer recruiting season is important, but it is not more important than your child’s confidence, joy, and relationship with you.
So stay steady. Keep learning. Keep perspective. And remember: the goal is not just to find a lacrosse program. The goal is to help your child find a place where she can grow, compete, learn, and be happy.
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